When I found out I was pregnant

On this day, ONE YEAR AGO, I found out I was pregnant!

That day feels like it was so long ago...

but here we are today, with an almost 4-month-old baby!

I still remember that day like it was yesterday.

It was just like any other day, but the days prior had me wondering if I was pregnant.

I was almost 100% sure I was, but I waited until I missed my period to do anything.

That afternoon, I went to take our huge load of laundry, which I dreaded doing...

thank goodness for a washer/dryer in our apartment now...

But after I finished the laundry, I was driving back home and last minute, I decided to go to Smith's to buy a pregnancy test hahaha

It actually took me a while to find it around all the pharmacy stuff, so I asked a worker and she led me to them.

Quickly bought it and went home.

I recorded the whole thing guys... hahahaha

It's kind of embarrassing, so maybe I'll save it for another day.

Everything leading up to the moment I found out I was pregnant, I was a nervous wreck!

I didn't know whether to think if I wanted to be pregnant or not.

But in all honesty... I don't wanna lie to myself... 

at the time, I don't think I wanted to see that positive sign lol
Life, at the time, wasn't the brightest for me.

One day, when I post the video, you'll see in my face that I wasn't very excited hahaha

But I think I was still so shocked that I couldn't cry lol

I still wanted to surprise Justin when he got home from school, so right after I found out, I was trying to decide how I would tell him, but he called me literally right after I took the test to pick him up because his legs were so sore lol

So I did...

We came back inside the apartment, I went to our bedroom to grab our camera so I could record me telling him.

Once I saw the excitement on Justin's face, I couldn't help but feel relieved LOL
He was honestly so excited, it made me happy.
Many many tears were shed... most of them by me haha

And that was the day our lives were changed foreverrrrr

It's so funny how life works...
Before I even went to BYU, I was always like...
I wanna get married when I'm 25, and then the kids will come when they come.
But here I am, at 23 years of age, married... with a baby.
I still don't feel like I'm a mom.
When I really think about it, I think it's weird that I live with Justin, it's weird that we have a baby to take care of 24/7... everything is still so new!
There are times when I think about rearranging my life events to see what would be "easiest," but I realize that life isn't meant to be easy!
I always think... man, once Leah sleeps through the night, life will get a little better.
Once Justin finishes his MCAT and med school applications, life will be more fun.
Once he graduates, becomes a doctor, and we build our own house, life will be perfect.

It's a bunch of lies, guys.

I should stop thinking that way, because the day we'll be happy is the day we choose to be.
Life gets harder and harder and harder.
Nothing will make it easier.
I sound stupid for saying that because I'm only 23 years old...
But in those 23 years, I realize how tough life can be!
And while it won't get any easier, the hope is that it'll always get better.