Late Mother's Day Post

Look at that face hahahaha

Our "Mother's Day" picture #fail

More than a week later, I'm posting about Mother's Day haha

My 1st Mother's Day...

didn't feel like I was supposed to be a part of that day.

Justin definitely spoiled me, as you can see in my mother's day vlog.

I don't know how to explain it, but I feel unworthy to be called a "mother" hahah

I'm a mom of just 11 months and have experienced very little, mostly sleep deprivation... lol

But at the same time, I feel like it's what I've been doing my whole life.

I know my love for my baby is unconditional and almost indescribable... nobody has more love for her than me dang it! haha

But I feel like I've yet to reach that divine love of a mother Elder Holland talked about.

I feel guilty for keeping my eyes on the clock, more than I should, counting down to her bedtime every day. And she sleeps at 6pm, sometimes earlier. I know, I'm seriously so lucky.. I shouldn't even be complaining, right?

But I still count down!

The first couple months, especially, I often thought about how badly I wanted to go back to my "easy" life. You know, the days without having to worry about another human 24/7?

Ironically, I know these are still the "easy" days of my life haha

I genuinely try my best to enjoy every minute with her, because they grow up so fast!

I always knew I was a pretty selfish human being, but not until Leah did I realize exactly how selfish I really was lol

And then my respect for my own mom grew exponentially after having Leah haa

I wasn't the mom, still am not, that looked so glamorous with a new baby.

Every day I scroll through my Instagram of moms and their babies all dressed up and all that jazz, and I'm like... how?!

I was in my pjs ALL DAY EVERY DAY.

And to be honest, I still am hahaha

But that's nothing new.

It's still a struggle at times and I'm still adjusting to being a mom every single day...

BUT I know there's nothing greater than being lucky enough to have a love so great for this blessing I've been given.

She really makes my heart so full. Especially when she gives me big wet kisses.