The darker it gets, the more we see

I used to think that I handled my trials really well, but every time I run into one, I realize I'm not good at all. I resort to venting out all the negativity in my body and blaming others for my own emotions. And in those times, I realize I am so far from becoming who I want to be. But it's also in those darker times that I see Heavenly Father's hand in my life. 

It was while I was folding and packing 200 shirts some time last week that I started thinking about how much more our Savior had to endure, and still, never had a single second of hatred in his heart towards another person. Seriously... I have no idea how He did it. He really suffered for all our sins, pains, sadness, anger... And while we may feel like our current trials and problems are worse than the previous one, there is nothing we can't take to Him. There is nothing too big that He can't provide comfort and peace. Right now, I feel like I can't complain because I still have so much I could do to better my situation. 

To be honest, I still am kind of lost and confused as to what I should and shouldn't be doing. My escape from anger and frustration is seeking out other "opportunities" if you know what I mean lol I've never wished more than now to just know what He has planned for me. I want Him to say, "Stop that, do this, and do that!" But for me, it's when life gets a little dark that I see more of myself and where I need to improve to draw closer to my Savior. 

And here's to another post that doesn't seem to make much sense. 

Happy Thursday!